The Chicken or the Meg

Report by Gerry McDonnell

Existence is total of little contradictions. When a skilled gambler retailers close to for value, he’s lauded for his shrewdness. Yet when I use a related stage of financial prudence exterior of the betting arena, I’m deemed meaner than a premenstrual Scot with a toothache.

I am not ashamed to say that I use the exact same method with my shopping budget as I do with my betting bank. Why ought to I pay out 60p for ‘brand name’ biscuits when I can get an almost identical packet for 15p? Admittedly, the cheapskate biscuits crumble at the merest touch, but I can let this small flaw pass, as it’s mostly the kids who eat them.

The small ones are always on my back to enhance my fitness levels. They’re rather heavy. My frugal nature led me to scoff at wasting £200 on a gymnasium membership soon after all, I’ve received a bike at home.

My economical acumen did lead to really an embarrassing mix-up. I was feeling a small peckish soon after a lengthy stint on the exercising bike, so I determined to snack on a handful of of the tightwad biscuits. This adequately explains how the wife identified me breathing heavily even though furiously stroking the crumbs off my lap.

Lawrie Sanchez has also been on the end of a comical misunderstanding. The Fulham manager loves to signal Irish gamers, so when he heard of the crisis engulfing Chelsea, he made a cheeky bid to indication O’Bramovich.

The Chelsea squad are on the verge of mutiny as a result of their difficult-to-please operator. Fat Frank, the Drog, Malouda: they’re all revolting.

Some of the players had been in tears when Jose left, even though Ashley Cole’s emotional state may possibly be a result of Liza Minnelli’s tour drawing to a shut. The 2/five for a Chelsea win over Fulham has sent me toppling over the edge.

Michael Owen has when again been sidelined by way of harm. The King of the Castle has been ruled out with a double hernia: it started off as a single but he was feeling lucky. I’ll have a tiny punt on the draw amongst Manchester Town and Newcastle at 23/10.

Robbie Savage has often been in contrast to Roy Keane. Regrettably, the term ‘a inadequate man’ typically plays a substantial function. The 7/4 for a Sunderland win more than Blackburn can aid alleviate poverty amongst the betting lessons.

Unless of course Fernando Torres shares the wife’s uncommon health-related situation in which physical activity is only permitted the moment a week, he has to start off versus Wigan. I’ll happily again Liverpool at 4/6 if Torres starts: if he’s on the bench, I’ll lay it like it was Meg White.

Studying left it late to land a touch versus Wigan previous week. With two minutes to go, I was sweating like Prince Charles on Father’s Day. These Royals are pretty useful they can leave Portsmouth with a level at five/two.

They say that excellent issues come in little packages, and that’s an adage to which I am compelled to subscribe. Cesc Fabregas might be diminutive in stature, but he’s a genuine giant on the football pitch. Arsene has set the small man on fire, he’ll inspire Arsenal to a victory above West Ham at 10/11.

Although Cesc is banging the ambitions in for exciting, Andy Johnson would struggle to score at a Ronaldo property-celebration. I’m loving the 5/two for a draw among Everton and Middlesbrough.

Steve Bruce is genuinely hunting forward to the go to of Manchester United. It’s not a outcome of his Aged Trafford ties, he just would like to stand subsequent to Carlos Tevez and not be regarded as the unpleasant one. The four/7 for a Manchester United win above the Blues is totally spectacular.

I’m undoubtedly anxious about this bluetongue virus. Apparently, it’s transmitted by midges, so I am steering properly clear of Sammy Lee. Bolton are worth a small wager at seven/4 versus Derby.

Martin Jol appears to have misplaced the plot. I wouldn’t treat a canine the way Jol has treated Jermain Defoe, specially as she failed to swallow my biscuit story. Aston Villa will depart the Lane with a position at 9/4.

I’m sure the spouse has shared her outrageous concept on ‘biscuitgate’ with her mother. I’ve been a nervous wreck since the incident I just haven’t been feeling myself. Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and an Everton draw type a 14/1 weekend accer that will hopefully elevate my flagging spirits.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.